The hidden years, 144, yellow knife

Door San-Daniel gepubliceerd op Tuesday 01 September 03:50


Yellow knife

I fell silent for a moment when I realized that Bill had spoken in earnest. Bill was just willing to lay his life down for a load of supplies. An alarm bell was ringing in my head, we had talked a lot and we knew after hours behind the wheel a lot about each other. That alarm cried out,’ beware, you are partner of a man in a truck on a dangerous expedition and he no longer values his life. He had been deceived by a friend with his wife, he had lost in the divorce all but the well-used truck in which we were driving and he had neither child nor crow. It made him indifferent nothing mattered anymore to him. The realization dawned on me that I  had child nor crow either and had actually lost everything that was dear to me. With the difference that I had plans, vaguely defined plans. But he who makes plans, has a future  To Bill it had all become the same. That's why walked without fear up to an Indian knife fighter and had given him a resounding slap in the face so that his knife had fallen to the ground, he had nothing to lose, because he really had nothing to lose. That made him a dangerous man. We were in the same boat and I wondered if we would get to meet other ice lake truckers like him, perhaps life had swept them all on a pile here, up North, men with a high outcast content.


‘You've just become very quiet,’ was Bill’s opinion. ‘Do you find that strange, I asked?’ ‘I've gone with you on a ride to Fort McMurray in the expectation that I would be back again a day later in Calgary, so I could decide whether I should or should not go to work with you and meanwhile, I am now days in a row next to you in inhospitable areas on the way to a bunch of runs up North, of which we do not know if we’ll both come back alive that puts you just to thinking. ‘ Bill looked ahead and said 'we’ve got to change places again, I am beginning  to feel my arms and he sent the combination just to the side of the road and parked it, he put his emergency lights on and waited until I got out to walk around to his side. When I stood next to his cabin door, he did not get out, but pressed the lever of the door that locked it down. He rolled down the window and gave a little shudder. ‘Boy that's really cold out there,’ he shuddered again, ‘you know I could just as well do the  ride alone, because I do not need you to come along when push comes to shove.’ It dawned on with at full intensity, what he meant.


‘Hey Bill, do not leave me behind, I screamed,’ I’ll like go with you. ' Once more let me hear that but with feeling,’ ‘said Bill engine as he  made the engine growl. ‘Please, Bill, can I come,’ I cried. He made a walk around motion with his finger and I went back, but running because I was afraid he would drive off before I could climb into the cab on the passenger side. I jumped on the running board and pulled the door open and dropped down in the chair. Bill pulled away as I closed the door. I was truly grateful. ‘Let's be clear,’ said Bil, ‘You never come along  against your will, and wherever you want get out, you get out, what is not clear in what I am saying?’ ‘I understand you perfectly well,’ I replied, ‘there's nothing here that's unclear '' Beautiful ', Bill said,' then we’ll continue as good friends, that's so much more pleasant?’ I nodded.

San Daniel 2015

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