I could have been loved

Door AnnaElize gepubliceerd op Wednesday 17 February 09:46

I could have been loved!
I could have had pink tutus when I was a little girl
I could have been praised for the good I did
People around me could have told the truth
They could have laughed at my jokes
I could have been respected
I could have been smiled at
My pets all could have lived well into ripe old age
The very few toys I had that were not worn-out hideous hand-me-downs
could have been put in a high place when I was not playing with them
Safe from being torn up by dogs
If they were torn up anyway
I could have been consoled instead of scolded for crying
I could have been understood
People could have thought about ways to make me feel good
Instead of new , even sneakier ways to hurt me
I could have been supported in my life’s choices
I could have been treated fairly
I could have felt like I was worth being alive
I should have realized how wonderful I was
I should have not let them steal away my soul
I got it back though
Battered and torn from the junk yard
Where they left it to rot after they thought their job was done
I  scrambled back up though
I sowed it together again
And am happy once more
They’re in shock
To see how they can tear me down again
Sulking, they didn’t finish me off once and for all
Planning how to drag me down again
Happy with each little victory
Having fun in advance with the thought they may have hurt my feelings with their rudeness
They could have been nice
They did not have to choose drugs over purity
But they did
And they hate me for no reason
I thought it was for being alive
But they would hate me dead just as much
I thought it was for being happy
But they hate me unhappy just as much
I thought it was for being successful
But they hate me when I fail just as much
I thought it was for being young
But they hate me now I am old just as much
They hate without  reason
Just as they live without reason
They hate reason but they hate nonsense too
What do they love?
They choose others for having  the same characteristics they reject me for
They take the credit for what I do
And pass the blame for what they do to me
I will just keep throwing love into that bottomless pit
Knowing only garbage will return
I will consider it practice in unconditional love
They have forced me to grow stronger than their hate
Higher than their contempt
I would have done so freely with joy
But let them think it was because of them
Let them believe their little lies
They hate the truth anyways
Blind they were
And blind they’ll stay
And as they stray I will pray
Maybe that miracle will happen one day
Maybe they will start being true
I would love to see it if they ever do.

Don’t be afraid of unrequited love
Be afraid of not loving at all
When your love is not returned
it does not disappear
It builds you treasures
Look and you’ll notice
Talents you never had before
Miracles unfold for the friendly
So stay loving and kind
And go to where you are appreciated
Pure love will always be answered somehow somewhere
And find you if you let it





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