The hidden years in Canada 164, the return

Door San-Daniel gepubliceerd op Saturday 05 September 18:20


The return

The ice was found to be strong enough and we had already been driving for hours on the lake. My boss had his focus on infinity and I decided to try and go for a nap. Bill nodded when I climbed up and turned his attention to the endless plain. I lay down and although I did not expect to fall asleep right away, I noticed how exhausted I was. The engine drone sang me to sleep and before I knew it I was in a different reality. I was driving along with Beverly in the blue Pontiac and we just laughed with happiness. These are the flashes of dreams you have when you're exhausted and snoring away in almost unconsciousness. We arrived at the Bow river which was frozen over and we wanted to get across. I parked the big American and headed for the shore, ‘will you get me the ice drill please,’ I asked Bev, who just looked at me without understanding me. What do you mean the ice drill? ‘ ‘We will measure depth now, 'I said,' otherwise we’ll run great risks. Bev, dear Bev laughed her golden laugh and said, ‘oh dear, you silly boy, don’t you know?’  ‘Your drill is up North in your truck next to you at the bottom of a lake.‘ I sat up with a jolt awake and half asleep, I tried to determine whether Bev across all those miles back had sent me a warning. I could not work it out and I rolled left and right. It was obvious to me that I longed for a normal society. To be with ordinary people and that after only a week. I realized that the coming weeks would strengthen this feeling only more.

Would my Pontiac still be standing there, would not somebody have noticed that the blue monster had been parked for more than a week in the same spot? I shuddered and threw my legs over the side and lowered myself into the passenger seat. ‘No, have a look who is there,’ Bill greeted me, ‘sleeping beauty'. ‘ After only, 'and he looked at the day counter, ‘ having slept five hours. ‘Hi Bill', I said. ’Have I really slept five hours, it seems that I had only closed my eyes for a few seconds. ‘ ‘That is what snowfields do to you,’ muttered Bill, ‘they’ll exhaust you until you make mistakes and make you disappear in the depths.’ The latter in particular reminded me of my dream and I shivered, I suddenly realized again that we were probably crossing over a great depth. ‘Bill’ I asked my boss, ‘Do you believe in dreams.’ ‘You bet,’ laughed Bill, ‘I always dream!’ He wanted to misunderstand me on purpose, ‘I mean,’ I said, ‘do you attach importance to dreams?’ ‘If you have dreamed something bad then I do not wanna hear 'said Bill,’ that brings the accidents in your life. Besides, very often dreams are fears that you project, or the processing of uncertainties. But here you should not discuss them, it is like calling up accidents, if you know what I am getting at.’ I understood from this that Bill attached due importance to dreams and so I kept my mouth shut about Bev's warning in my dream, because maybe that would make Bill uncertain and would just cause an accident and then you had a self-fulfilling prophecy.


‘I’ll  bring her there on the bank,’ Bill said, pointing to a plain 'and then turn and face this monster in the right direction so that you only have to change places again  and go back on the ice to drive back  for the next five hours direction South, I’ll take forty winks, ‘and with those words the nose of the combination turned towards the shore and moments later I was driving with a roaring Bill above me,  back over the lake, due South. Bill muttered something in his sleep and although I did not understand it well, I thought to hear him say, between two snores, ‘No. Bev, he lies at the bottom of the lake with my drill, we won’t see him no more 'and then he tossed to and I forced myself to disconnect and stare far ahead of me over the plain.

San Daniel 2015

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