The Canadian years, 46 the bird dog

Door San-Daniel gepubliceerd op Monday 29 December 18:07

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The birddog

‘You must be very careful’, said Richard the next day. ‘What should I be aware of,’ I said? ‘Ben, your old friend, Ben Good is mad at you.’ ‘No,’ I exclaimed, ‘hey what have I done now?’ ‘He says you're a bird dog. A man who only steals another man’s girlfriend.’ ‘A Birddog’ I said surprised? ‘You know’, Don mingled in now, ‘as in the hit of the Everly Brothers.’ ‘I don’t listen to them,’ I replied. ‘Ben does and thinks’ that you're the bird dog from this school.’ ‘Why would he think so,’ I don’t even have a girlfriend’, I said.’ Precisely for that reason,’ said Don, ’when I told him that Shelly had gone to Toronto, he looked very dark.’ ‘Oh oh,’ he said, ‘I know what's going to happen.’ ‘This is ridiculous,’ I said.’I do not even know who his girlfriend is.’ ‘You didn’t know that last time either,’  Don said firmly and then you stole Shelly away, you made her mad with that Honeypie hassle’.’I imagine,’and he put his Freud head on,  ‘Ben suffers  from severe spells of separation anxiety.’

‘Wait a minute’, I said as I closed my locker ‘Shelly was not his girlfriend and he was just picking on me, because I was new school. ‘That is not how Ben sees it,’ said Don. ‘Hi Sugar Lips,’ it sounded and a black-haired beauty smiled our way in passing. ‘Gosh’, I said, ‘who was that?’ ‘That's Beverly,’ reported Don. ‘How do you know her’, I asked?’ I do not know her, I would not dare to know her,’ replied Don, ‘that is or maybe I should say, that was Ben's girlfriend.’ ‘Phew, no,’ I said,’ I know only one person who can call me sugar lips and that is Shelly.’ ‘Are you disturbed,’ said Don, ‘Beverly can call me whatever she wants to, man, she is hot.’’ Oh,’ Richard, butted in while he slammed his locker door shut, Ben will find that fun, you calling his new flame, hot. We don’t have to share that knowledge with Ben and it is only that we like to go to Happy Valley and you’ll have great difficulty steering with your eyes knocked shut.

‘Like Ben, hey man,’ continued Richard,’ Don has now become a bird dog too, he finds your little lady really hot, really tasty hot, I do not know why he said that, but he drools when he mentions her name’. Hey, I said, ‘what do you mean another bird dog, because I object to that, there is only one Birddog and that is Don.' '’ Don,’ I said, why do you not go to Beverly and say, ‘hey babe I got wheels and I like taking out beautiful women.’ ‘Because I’ll probably appear totally wrecked on the first date, Don chuckled. ‘Women find that exciting though,’ said Richard, they like to be desired and they kick out if there is fight over them, it is primal man.

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‘Would she go with me’, Don asked himself musingly. ‘If you are considering asking her, then wait for a rainy day’, Richard laughed. ‘Why’, Don asked in surprised? Then that fits nicely in with your preferences of the Everlybrothers with their crying in the rain.’ ‘For someone who detested those boys you know all their songs well, I’ve noticed,’ answered Don,’ do you listen to them secretly?’’ My sister’ Richard raised his hands theatrically, has them wailing from her bedroom all day long.’ ‘From the speakers, I hope,’chuckled Don. ‘You're such a dirty man’ I said, you want to heal people later, look at you!’ First you want to take Ben's girlfriend out and then you suggest that the Everly Brothers are heavily abusing Richard’s sister in her own bedroom, on a daily basis.’ ‘Hey Don,’ I continued, ‘seriously now, if you like her, you can just say that anyway.’ He looked at me in surprise and I went on. ’Man be cool, you can still have a friendship with her without anything more? Ask her along to Happy valley, just a few school friends who go to an amusement park for a few hours.’ ‘If it doesn’t turn out well, then let it rest, if you find her nice then you could consider what steps to take from there on. ‘Ben,’ he said, hesitating? ‘If Ben causes any trouble, I'll help you, I promise you and I winked.

We went to local history class and there were Ben and Beverly, and Don headed straight off to Beverly. Richard and I just came walking in.’ Hi babe’, he began, ‘I have wheels and’ ..Ben bounced up, ‘are you talking to Beverly?’ It sounded very threatening. ‘Holy Jeez,’ Don had just used the very same words that we had been teasing him with.. I stepped forward and said, ‘be cool man, of course he is talking to Beverly, or are you the babe.’ ‘Now, I’ll beat you to death’, said Ben. ‘Sit down baboon, Beverly said with a look of contempt. ‘What is a baboon,’ Richard asked, sideways to me? An African monkey species or something like that,’ I said. ‘Let the man speak Ben, ‘I said, and I realized that I had almost said baboon. ‘Exactly’, said Don, first this, I praise myself happy with my friends, you are my friends’, and he pointed at us. ‘Now Beverly, you beautiful Beverly, will you join us for a Happy valley picnic on Saturday? ‘I will kill them all,’ Ben said.

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‘Then you need to come from a better house,’ said Don, who was now play acting the noble tough hero. ‘Something the matter with my house,’ roared Ben now and he stepped forward. It is to be praised in Don, he did not budge, not one step, he was probably petrified. A hand pulled them back and Mr. Wanters who had  come in, asked in his reserved voice, ‘gentlemen, what's going on here’? Richard said, ‘I believe that young baboon’, wants to murder young Don’.’ And you're next,’ Ben growled. ‘that is the way he has been, all the time Mister Wanters, sir I said. ‘Not a sensible word has come out of him.’ ‘You too, are going to die, I’ll stomp you into the ground soon,’ growled Ben now hoarse.’ That's jungle language,’ said mister Wanters which does not belong in my class. Young, eh what was your name again?’ Someone helped by calling anonymously,’ baboon.’ No, I won’t have that, in earnest, said our master, you can not judge people by their appearance.’ Ben, mister Wanters, sir.’’ Beautiful, young Ben, why do you not sit aside a bit because you look rather flushed. Then you can relax under the battles that we are going to discuss.’

‘Books please,’ he looked searchingly around. ‘Yes,’ said Beverly, I'd be happy to come along.

San Daniel 2014

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