The Canadian years, 28, Archie and Shelly

Door San-Daniel gepubliceerd op Tuesday 09 December 13:59

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The fairy

The neighborhood was indeed an upscale neighborhood, my brother had assessed that correctly. He stopped by a driveway to a beautiful home with a double front door. I got out and walked self-consciously over the driveway. Shelly must have been on the lookout, because when I rang the bell,  the door swung open. There stood my fairy princess, ‘Hi Daniel,’ she radiated towards me, nothing sugar lips, but that would have been to provocative for a disapproving mother, a mother watching us from a distance. ‘You are a belle,’ I said ‘and you are a fine beau,’ she smiled back. Her mother stepped forward, God almighty, the  woman looked like a poodle, with a permanent hairdo. The woman looked fake American. She smiled kindly, ‘pleased to meet you young man, you must be young Daniel,’ she said.’ Madam’, I said,’ how do you do?’  ‘Where are you taking my daughter tonight,’ she asked? ‘To a sports event, ma'am’ I answered truthfully. She nodded approvingly, ‘sport elevates mankind,’ she said,’ have a pleasant evening’. ‘Thank you ma'am’, I answered and I bowed a bit.

We walked with some space between us in the direction of Mustang, where my brother sat as a Lurch, behind the wheel. I heard her mother saying over her shoulder, probably to her husband, ‘a fine young man ..’ ‘You have made a very good impression sugar lips,’ ‘so far, my mother has found fault with all my friends. ‘Right Honey Pie, the night is ours.’ ‘There's someone behind the wheel of your car’, Shelly said, as we got closer.’ ‘That's my brother, I've bought him a ticket, because yes, he is a nice guy but he's nowhere, huh, he is a loser! I try to treat him well, not as a servant or so, but I do what I can, he’s my brother.’ I held the back door open for Shelly and slid a little later on the other side next to her. ‘So,’ my brother said, ‘cute friend, you have, he has a got a cute miniskirt on’. ‘Do not pay attention,’ I said softly, ‘he is  heavily confused,’ he can barely manage driving and he is a very male focused man, if you know what I mean.’ ‘Is he’ .. and she patted the back of her hand .. and she looked uderstanding?’ Yes, gay, terribly so, but I'm afraid  he does not know yet, I said, that will come in it’s own good time. ‘Okay James’ I told my brother, ‘roll the wheels boy.’’ Oh, ‘said my fairy, ‘is your brother called James?’ ‘No’, I said, ‘but he likes it when you call him James,‘ I whispered back. ‘Strange person,’ she said,’ a bit kinky, not my type’. I nodded back. ‘You have to tell him everything twice and then he still forgets,’ I added as I put my arm around her and smelled her fragrant hair as I pulled her tightly against me.

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‘Sports elevates mankind’, Shelly’s mother had said, I wondered if that, in her opinion, would include Archie the Stomper. He raised people alright. High above his head and hurled them out of the ring. I resolved not to sit in the front row, I did not want my fairy princess splashed with the blood of some unlucky cowboy. ‘What sort of contest is this,’ asked Shelly with wide eyes as we sat in the third row from the front between a bunch of tipsy cowboys? My brother sat in the front row a few seats to my left. ‘Oh dear,’ I said, ‘he has done it all wrong, I had so asked him to buy tickets for a basketball game. ‘Well then he probably got in the wrong line’, thought Shelly. ‘Well,’ I said, ‘it is no different, would you like some popcorn,’ I asked when I saw it was a girl with a tray moving along the first row. A tray with a raised edge, which with a band around her neck.’ Hot dogs,’ she asked in a low voice, not quite calling,’popcorn, cola, cigarettes?’ ‘James’ I cried. My brother recognized my voice and turned around.

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‘Do me a popcorn’, I cried. ‘That's a poofter’s name,’ said a rough cowboy beside me.’ Look,’ said Shelly,’ everyone knows it except for him.’ I nodded, ‘yes,’ I replied, well that will change when he comes out of the closet.’ ‘Ohhhh’, said the man next to me,’ Archie does not like gays. For my mental eye, I could see my brother with a seat around his neck, beaten to pulp. My brother reached over the heads of the first two rows and handed us a gigantic bag of popcorn. The first challenger was in the raised square. A cowboy whose tottering gait, betrayed drink. ‘,’for the small purse of $200, we have here next to meeee..’ the man with the microphone, stretched certain words deliberately, to increase the voltage .. ‘what is your name actually boy’ he asked the waddling cowboy. ‘Jim’, the man said, ‘ just pulled from the saddle of the field of cow dung we have. Jimmm !! ‘Ohh,’ In the other corner defender of the small purse, three weeks unbeaten, one tooth Joeyyy !!

‘Shelly, Honeypie,’ I said,’I think we have ended up in a free fighting match.’ The Cowboy next to me had finished chewing his tobacco and shot a brown beam over the heads of the first two rows in front of him, it splashed on the ground. ‘I like to make it good, next week I'll be happy to take you to Romeo and Juliet, the new romantic film, we can take a bus or taxi, what do you say?’ I could see myself sitting in the back of the cinema with my fairy princess, in the dark. ‘Oh, I would really like that,sugar lips,’ said Shelly.

One tooth Joey shuffled forward, Cow dung Jim reached out to shake hands. One tooth Joey took his hand in order to shake it and with the other one he belted Cow dung Jim in the face. ‘So, well done,’ the man next to me said, ‘now we have one tooth Jim and one tooth Joey. Cowboy Jim was being slammed about, and kicked and as he lay down,he was jumped upon. ‘I minute and 10 seconds, ladies and gentlemennnn, one tooth has outdone himself !! Two friends walked into the ring to tow Cowboy Jim out. One tooth estimated that incorrectly and thought that they came to pick a fight. He jumped on the neck of the two friends. ‘We are done,’ roared the referee, stop, stop. The referee got belted. The referee got up and now along with Jim’s friends, started to beat the crap out of one tooth. ‘Sports elevates mankind’, I said. The assistant referee, came in ringing a bell as a sign that all was over. A friend of one tooth crawled under the ropes inside and planted his boot between the shoulder blades of the first referee. There was the sound of someone blowing a whistle.

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‘Oh oh,’ said the cowboy beside me nervously while putting new chewing tobacco in his cheek, ‘there is Archie.’ A bear of a guy came walking across, with his focus only on the fighting tangle. He walked without regard to the five fighting men, right to the referee, and he just hurled him away. The others, he hit and kicked. He walked to the middle of the ring, reached up and pulled the microphone toward him. ‘Cleaning crew here 'on the double', he shouted, ‘clean up this mess’ and he pointed to the exhausted men on the floor. Moments later, the announcer came forth to announce the second fight, ‘a man from Nebraska, yes ladies and gentlemennnn, you heard it right, Nebraska Aaah !! Eskimo Peter ... give the man a hand .. and Eskimo Peter was greeted with warm applause. Moments later, two fellow Eskimos took him out of the ring, he hung like a bloody piece of dirt between his friends who dragged him away, he looked groggy . ‘Yes,’ Shelly agreed,’ sports elevates mankind’.

The main fight with Archie took very long, he needed 6 minutes to lay down one horseshit Bill, he obviously had consumed a lot of energy with the other men that he had laid out. The sacred fire was gone.’ It was a very special experience,’ said Shelly on the way to the car.’ I  don’t ever need to see it again, in my whole life’. My brother walked along with us,’ I picked up a tooth, ‘he said with shining eyes, from ‘ horseshit Bill.’ ‘Phew’, Shelly said to me, ‘I'm so glad I'm with you, you have so much culture sugar lips’ and she put her arm around me ..

San Daniel 2014

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