Do you believe in fairytales?

Door Dasha gepubliceerd op Friday 28 September 12:07

I have skills, you know. A lot of skills! I'm good at ruining moments and making stupid jokes. I'm a champion at eating. I make cute drawings on my toes. I trip over flat surfaces and fall a lot! From the stairs, from my bike...I think that really is my biggest talent. The only fall I haven't been able to make, is the fall in love.

 

Seriously, I don't believe in all that crap. I don't believe in prince Charming on a white horse, kissing someone awake from a coma can't be done and the evil stepsisters usually get all the hot guys. Love equals dependence and eventually disappointment. Relationships fall apart sooner or later. The sooner the better, the later the harder. It’s all about revealing the weakness and standing weak is not my kind of thing.
I believe that that type of knowledge leads you to strength. Based on that theory I made myself a plan, including me NOT believing in fairytales, NOT giving relationships a try and definitely NOT leaving my heart open. Translated into fairytale language: screw as many prince Charmings as possible, before they screw you. The only thing I forgot to point out was that of all the skills that our precious Lord gave to me, none of them included a talent at planning things. The moment I've set my mind on how not to get screwed by a potential Charming-wannabe, the other one came around. Too bad for me, that other one was you.

And I think I need to start calling things by their names. So ill start with "I hate you". You make me smile like an idiot for no reason. You make my heart go way faster than it should. Because of you I have this weird feeling in my stomach, like something is flattering. You make all those stupid, cheesy love songs finally make sense. Having your arm around me and my head all up in your neck makes my perfect moment. And most of all you make me feel like its okay to not be in control all the time, like its okay to have your weak moments…And that puts me in a dark scary place, where I can lose myself in a moment. Just like that. Breakable. And I hate you for that. Cuz for me, there is nothing more terrifying than a person who makes my cold hands stop shiver. Who makes me feel warm inside out. Because I know, those are the people who might break you the hardest when you don't expect them to. Who might step on you without you even realizing it. So I hide my feelings and look the other way, while the words you probably want to hear just won’t roll over my lips. But that doesn’t matter; I know that my eyes are betraying me, giving away the truth definition behind my silence, so I don’t even have to say a word to you. Even though I'm scared as hell, I wouldn't want to change a thing. I'd rather find myself in that dark scary place with you, than spend the day out in the sunlight all by myself. Because no matter how dark I used to imagine that place, it ain’t that dark and scary with you by my side, lightening it all up.

So after all this thinking I finally came to realize that fairytales are what you make them and the reason that every little soul looks for love is that it’s the closest thing we have to magic…and once in a while, right in the middle of an ordinary life, that stupid, little thing called love, provides us that fairytale. Maybe not exactly the way Walt Disney would do, but sure as hell worth to enjoy.
 

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